


Not this Again

by alreadyclaimednamefk



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Fluff and Crack, Gen, Humor, Lycopersicon Esculentum, Pokemon Reference, Scientific Name, Teen Wolf Crack, tomato
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-15
Updated: 2013-11-15
Packaged: 2018-01-01 15:38:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1045622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alreadyclaimednamefk/pseuds/alreadyclaimednamefk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek is hurt and Stiles is a little shit about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not this Again

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Guys, I’m losing my shit. So, observe the humble tomato.](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/30823) by tangledbeast. 



> Inspired by a tumblr post by an amazing fandom.

Derek's hurt, which is nothing new. It's never new and you know what, it’s completely his fault. Forever running into a situation half cocked, continuing down his man pain "forever alone" path of self destructive behavior. To be fair, the universe probably just hates one Mr. Derek Hale. 

At this point Stiles isn't surprised at all when he finds Derek bloodied on his back step with what looked to be mutated porcupine quills sticking from his body. Nope not surprised at all, and that totally _manly_ not high pitched AT ALL, manly man yell he did was just because he almost tripped over Derek, nothing more. With a heavy sigh he sets down the trash and dragged him into the kitchen. He’s done this enough and, badgered Melissa McCall enough to be a professional. Stupid Derek, but in hindsight, who needs med school when you have your personal CPR dummy and often almost cadaver. Okay maybe not a doctor, but he has at least enough skills to beat Amateur Surgeon and Operation with a perfect score, yes the board game.

This would be the prefect time to tell Derek all about his current research on the history of prostate milking, or to be a little more professional prostate stimulation, and how he got the idea to research it when Scott told him it wasn't true after they saw it in Road Trip. Derek lost a lot of blood. It's practically second nature to Stiles now, one of the many perks of Derek always scouting him out after the shit has hit the fan. Derek was pale and had black blood crusted on him, massive blood loss means very slow healing. Slow healing means emptier threats without the strength to move. Stiles still couldn't figure out how Derek always make his way to him. One day he might just get a blacklight and follow it back for kicks. 

He cleaned and dressed Derek's wounds then opened the refrigerator. He knew that at blood drives they offered you juice and cookies and things along those lines after you're done donating, maybe Derek could use a snack he figured. There was about a glass worth of orange juice and at the very least some grapes in the fridge. That's when he spotted it. Lycopersicon esculentum, member of the nightshade family, commonly known as a tomato. His face turned up in a Cheshire Cat like manor, Grinch like if you will.

Derek groaned when the tomato hit his not quite healed chest. “What’s this?” He looked up at Stiles with that vulnerable confused look he does. That look does things to Stiles from time to time. Nightmare/sweet dreams type of things.

"Edible wolf peach," he smirked. "I don't know, I figured it would work like Pokemon food, you know you just eat it and you're all healed up and feeling better."

**Author's Note:**

> As always unbeta'd if you spot anything feel free to let me know!


End file.
